Ashamed...

“Risk your life and get more than you ever dreamed of….”
Jesus as phrased in Luke 19:26 (The Message/MSG)

This is my second trip back to Macau. And I am ashamed to say that I have developed a deeper dislike of this place, a greater mistrust of the people here. I've been bratty. I've been sulky. I've been whiny.

Today, I decided to start the day with some godly focus - I was thinking more of helping baby develop a greater sense of the spiritual than I was for myself. But as always, don't we know that before we can help others, it is us ourselves who need the helping.

As Chris Tomlin's song, Great is Our God, played, I started to tear. How have I forgotten the magnitude of God's power, the extent of His presence, the limitless supply of love and grace. How have I forgotten my place in this universe - called to be an agent of hope, not to be a catalyst of dissent. But oh! How have I forgotten and fallen.

To think that I have been worrying and fretting about things like how we can manage to find better accommodation in Macau and how to make our dollar stretch better by renting our house back in Singapore. The song reminded me that these things may seem overwhelming for me, but it is nothing impossible for our awesome God to handle. Why did I think that I had to bear this burden upon my own shoulders? Is the Cross of Jesus not the exchange point where my griefs, my fears are taken away and replaced with the gift of joy and hope? A hope that is not mere wishful thinking but a certain radiant hope sealed with an unbreakable guarantee of fulfillment.

What does that mean in practical human deeds?

• That I can take the risk to accept this place, her people and her culture as it is.
• That I can take the risk to go against the flow - a smile at my neighbour, saying 'Excuse me' and 'Thank you', not jostling past others to get ahead.
• That I can take the risk to stop bothering about the social stereotypes and biases and just take the risk.

It is hard for me to say it with conviction right now, but I know it is the right thing to do to give this place a chance so that I can see the beauty there is here in this place and her people. Just as surely, God made Singapore and me, He has made this country and her people. John 3:16 tells me that He sees something beautiful in the people here and I have to learn too to love them as they are.